The Sibling Bond

September 1, 2002

Welcome to Wyndspirit Dreams! We recently had some unexpected company. My cousinís wife and her sister were driving across the country to visit another sister, and stopped at my parentsí place while I happened to be there. I could not help but think how they must be enjoying their travels, and how much fun they would have visiting their sister. Their bantering and obvious pleasure in each otherís company reminded me of how much I enjoy spending time with my own sisters, and how much I loved it when I lived near a couple of them.

I believe that, in many ways, the sibling bond is stronger than the parent/child bond. Think about you and your parents, or, you and your children. You come from different generations, shaped by a different series of world, national, and sociological events. You had a different set of parents and, consequently, a completely different upbringing. Even when all parties are adults, you will always have different status in the family pecking order. Then think about you and your siblings. You were raised in the same generation, with the same parents, the same upbringing, the same family background, and many shared experiences. And, sometimes, even when you are all adults, it seems to be "you against them" where you and your siblings and your parents or children are concerned. "Well, you know what Dadís like!" "Young people these daysÖ!" You and your siblings are equals in a way you can never be with your parents or your children, with a great many more life experiences in common with each other than with your parents or children.

I will admit that I am saying this from the biased perspective of my own experience of growing up in a family that I thought was pretty ordinary when I was a child, but that I came to appreciate as the greatest blessing of my life as an adult. I know that not everybody has as good a relationship with their siblings as I do. One time a friend of mine was totally amazed that I would prefer to hang out with my sisters than with my friends. I feel sorry for people with families like hers, because they are missing out on one of the greatest joys of life. All I can say is, I hope they appreciate what they are missing enough to encourage their own children to become close. Whenever my friend comments (in what seems to me almost surprise) on how close her son and daughter are, I remind her how fortunate they are and that she should continue to encourage their closeness. Then I give a little prayer of thanks that two more children will grow up to eventually realize what a treasure they have in each other.
 
 

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